I am also not saying that I don't believe in the beauty and sanctity of marriage. I think it is a beautiful, incredibly intimate step of life. The thing is, it also comes with a lot of responsibility, counsel, decision making, growing up... It's not that I don't want to be a responsible, grown up, wise adult who makes important decisions, because I do. I would just rather be that person alone. Here's why. The minute you say I do, your life changes forever. How about if I like my life the way it is?
In a marriage, if you want something, you have to ask someone. If you want to go somewhere, you have to ask someone. If you want to do something, you have to ask someone. I have spent my whole life asking permission to go places, do things, buy things I want. I am tired of living that way. If I want to buy an iPhone, I am going to. If I want to go to a movie, I am going to. If I want to hang out with friends, guess where I am going to be? Hanging out with friends. I like the freedom to do what I want, where I want, how I want and not constantly having to ask permission.
I don't mean to harp on the same thing over and over but it is imperative to my point. Most of you know that I am in school to become a doctor. Some of you may know that I have a huge passion for going and practicing medicine overseas. I am not the kind of person who enjoys being in the same place too long. I want to experience life everywhere with lots of new people. I want to eat lots of new food and learn a new language. I want to become part of a village and learn the customs and ways of the people. I don't want to be confined to a 9-5 job in the same place for the rest of my life!
This is also important to my point. In a marriage, if I wanted to pack up my stuff and move to Sudan, I would have to say something to the effect of, "Honey, I really feel like I am being called to Sudan right now and I really think we should move there so I can work there." Probably, 99% of men would look back at me and say something like, "Um, are you feeling okay? You're crazy! We can't just pack up our stuff and move to a dangerous place where we know no one and don't know the customs or the language!" I don't want that. I want to be like Nike and JUST DO IT! If I want to donate half a million dollars to an organization focused on preventing and stopping human trafficking or the spread of AIDS or towards cleaning water for people in 3rd world countries, then I want to do it. I don't want to have to have the above conversation every time I want to make a big decision.
All of you know that I am a Christian and I want to follow what God wants for my life. I know I am being called to other places. I want to just say, "Alright God, what are we doing today? Where are we going? Who are meeting? How can I glorify You?" He'll answer and I will be on my way, simple as that. It might sound ridiculous to you if you don't believe or if you think that that's not how it works, but it's never failed me yet and I refuse to believe it will.
So back to this concept of love. It is a word that my generation uses so loosely. The first time a boy ever told me he loved me was in 7th grade. 7th GRADE! I didn't even know what loving someone in a romantic relationship MEANT in 7th grade. So I responded with thanks. It was awful. It is only getting worse. As adults, we should be teaching kids to be more careful with their words and in their actions. Phrases like, "I love you," and, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," or, "there is no one else for me but you," are used so nonchalantly. Go on any middle school campus and poll all the students to see how many of them would consider themselves in love or having been in love at some point in their very short existences and I can guarantee that over 50% of them with say yes they have or yes they are. The line between love and infatuation is quickly disappearing and to quote my favorite show, "OVER THE LINE?! You're so far PAST the line, you can't even SEE the line anymore! The line is a DOT to you!"
To end my rant, I sometimes wonder if the fact I don't want to get married and have a family and settle down like a normal girl makes me weird or makes me smart. And like I said, I am not completely shut off to the idea but I have yet to meet a guy that even comes close to the standards I am holding the man I marry to, regardless of if that man would ever know of these standards.
If I ever say the statement on this sweatshirt to anyone, I want to know that it is true. I want to know that I am actually going to be with that person, loving them until I stop breathing. But it's impossible to know. So why take the risk?"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." ~William Shakespeare
I support your independence. You're the only one who has to live with all of your decisions, so make you happy. There's alot of pressure in our society, especially as a christian woman, to pair off and make babies, but that's not always the best way to impact the world. And, happiness is a huge factor in health and longevity, so make conscious choices about your priorities, and stick to your guns. I just wanted you to know (when you are facing backlash from this opinion) that you have a fellow christian woman in your corner, supporting your right to the pursuit of happiness.
ReplyDelete-Glee